Diehard for Blueberries

Alaskans are DIEHARD about their blueberry picking.  Maybe it’s because blueberries are one of the few fruits that actually grow here.  Or maybe it’s because Alaskans are diehard about everything that they do.

Here are the strict rules to being a diehard Alaskan blueberry picker:

1.  A diehard blueberry picker must NEVER EVER reveal her SECRET sweet spot for blueberry picking.  Secret sweet spots remain in the family and  are passed down from one generation to the next.  If the picker generously concedes to bringing a friend with her to her sweet spot, she must first blindfold the friend from the moment her friend gets in the passenger seat of her car.

Fortunately for me, my friend Hannah, who graciously brought me to her family’s blueberry sweet spot, is not completely diehard, so she kindly did not blindfold me.  However, I have several friends who have been blindfolded!

This brings me to rule number 2…

2. A diehard blueberry picker must drive MILES and MILES to her secret picking spot as she would never want others to find this spot -clandestinely or accidentally- and steal all her berries!  The further you drive, the higher your diehard rating.

My friend Hannah did try to point out the way we were going to get to her sweet spot, but I was too busy talking and thinking about how far we were driving (20+ miles each way?!) for small, hard-to-pick blueberries to remember all the turns. After passing many “No Trespassing” signs, we arrived at Hannah’s blueberry sweet spot (pictured below).  Let’s just say, I would never go there alone!

But at least we had an intimidating, manly vehicle (Hannah’s brother’s) to ward off any would-be threats.  I’m so glad we went blueberry picking in this giant truck. It really was so fitting!

3. A diehard blueberry picker must happily squat among the blueberry bushes picking berries for HOURS and HOURS to get anywhere from a pound or two of berries up to several gallons as legend has it.

4. A diehard blueberry picker unhesitatingly forgoes meals in order to have more time for picking.

I, however, could not forgo dinner nor let my friend Hannah do so.  So I packed her a tupperware full of pasta salad, which she ate while picking.  Let it be known that she did not lose any picking time!

5.  A diehard blueberry picker is NEVER deterred by any of the following when picking berries:

• Clouds of mosquitos – A diehard blueberry picker never lets mosquitos get the best of her!  In fact, she doesn’t even notice them, she’s so consumed by her berry picking.  I, however, did notice the mosquitos!  They were biting my back like crazy!  Next time, I must where a thicker shirt and not leave an inch of skin exposed to those merciless beasts!
• Rain – A diehard blueberry picker enjoys picking berries rain or shine.  Yes, it did rain on Hannah and me – and we kept picking!
• Sunset – A diehard blueberry picker can pick berries just as well in the dark as in the light.  We definitely did that too!
• Stains and Dirt – A diehard blueberry picker gladly sacrifices her wardrobe for the sake of the harvest!  And she knows how to remove those stains afterwards – Oxyclean!

6.  A diehard blueberry picker ALWAYS thinks “it was worth it” (the 40 miles of driving, lack of food, dozens of mosquito bites) no matter how few berries are picked.

Remember, Alaskan blueberries are NOT like the large, plump, juicy and sweet California/Oregon/Washington blueberries you buy at the grocery store or easily pick at a blueberry farm.  Oh no, Alaskan berries are small, tart and grow amongst thorny brush in boggy areas.  And after you pick them, you’re work is not done as you still have to wash and clean the berries, separating out all the twigs, leaves and debris!

And, perhaps most importantly, rule number 7…

7. A diehard blueberry picker NEVER compares the time and money spent picking blueberries in the wild to the time and money spent buying berries from the grocery store – NEVER!

I cannot say that this thought did not cross my mind more than once.  And I’m positive it’s most time- and cost-effective to go to Sam’s Club or Fred Meyer.  However, you can’t put a price on quality time with friends and genuine Alaskan experiences!